It will hit you like a rock – how so very MUCH you miss someone, your breath catches, your tears flow, and the sadness can be so great that it’s physically painful. Like the wind knocked the air out of you. The aftershocks of losing someone, even if it’s been five years… the grief shocks.

The loss of a child is a grief that lasts forever. Grief comes on in waves, especially during holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays. There will always be another year older that she should have been, her handmade ornaments will always be placed on the Christmas tree by someone other than herself, and the empty chair at the holiday dinner table will never be filled.

Isabella in Chistmas Jammies

Last week we ran into Mrs. Chrissy at lunch. As many of you know, Chrissy was Isabella’s best friend. Yes, Chrissy is an an adult… but if Isabella wasn’t with her parents or grandmother, she was with Mrs. Chrissy. They did it all together. We exchanged small talk before deciding to all sit down over lunch to catch up. Immediately her lip started quivering and her eyes teared up. She started to explain that she has been doing so well until this past week… she is tripping all over Isabella. Memories hurt, especially during this holiday time. Memories that are causing grief shocks.

“I laid in bed and decided to pull out my Sudoku book, it’s been years since I have brought myself to play. I open up the book and who was the last person to work on a Sudoku puzzle? Isabella. Its like she is making sure I don’t forget her.”

Isabella, Grant and Sophia in Christmas Jammies

Isabella was Chrissy’s shopping partner. Especially during the holidays. Chrissy even bought Isabella a Hanukkah outfit, just an excuse to buy her a pretty dress. Pictured here is Isabella with Grant and Sophia… in Christmas pjs that Chrissy bought them. Chrissy went on to mention that she still hasn’t been able to put up a Christmas Tree in her house since Isabella died. She continues to tend to her memorial site at Calvary Church and took Isabella a Christmas Tree instead.

Grief looks so different on everyone. No grief is right and no grief is wrong. And no amount of time, even if it has been five years, will change the way one feels. Our hearts go out to all those grieving and tripping over their lossed loved ones this holiday season. We hope your grief shocks become a little less intense and you can breathe in the moment of the season.

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