Celebrating the Power of Mothers: The Unique Bond Between Two Cancer Moms
In honor of Mother’s Day on May 9th, Isabella Santos Foundation celebrates remarkable cancer moms in our community
Written by Rachel Wood, Director of Marketing
Today we celebrate the unique relationship of a blended family and the moms between them. These two moms lost their son, Adam Kincaid, to a rare form of childhood cancer just 7 months ago. During the hardest of times, they have built a special bond and are moving forward to build a beautiful legacy in honor of him.
Meet Kim Webb, Adam’s Mom, and Emily Kincaid, Adam’s Bonus Mom. Kim and Adam’s dad are no longer together and have both remarried with kids. But these two families remain a united front and Kim and Emily continue to ride the motherhood waves of pain and joy together. They parent together, they eat holiday dinners together, they helped their son fight cancer together, and now with their family have started a childhood cancer foundation… together.
Adam was diagnosed with NUT Midline Carcinoma in May of 2019. After what was thought to be a basketball injury to the ribs, a CT scan discovered both a large left lung mass and a tumor on Adam’s T9 vertebrae. He went through so much in a short 18 months before he passed on October 2, 2020. He was only 16 years old.
At the beginning of the year, Adam’s family created Strong Like AK Foundation and just recently received their official nonprofit status. Based in Belmont, NC, they are already holding blood drives, planning fundraising events, and engaging some of Adam’s most passionate supporters… teens. His family created Strong Like AK to help support pediatric cancer patients and families within their community.
What Adam and his cancer fight taught us:
Kim: “Adam’s fight taught me so many different things. One thing that stands out was his strength during this battle. He radiated positivity even in moments when he wanted to give up. He never asked why me, he rolled with every punch. Good or bad, Adam stayed true to himself and he never let cancer waiver who he was. To me, that is a true definition of a warrior and I could not be more proud of my son, who he was, and all he taught me throughout his journey.”
Emily: “Adam taught me what true strength, perseverance, and resilience mean. I can’t imagine an adult receiving this horrific diagnosis, much less a 14-year-old athletic, handsome, smart teenager in the prime of his life- but Adam never asked why and never complained. He put on his fighting shoes and went to battle. Adam never let this cancer define him. He remained positive and he never gave up. He was so stoic through it all, even providing comfort and advice for his friends. He also taught me to live life to the fullest and to not take one day for granted. He taught me to give, even when I feel like I have nothing left to give and he taught me to love deeply. He exuded all of these qualities effortlessly on a daily basis. I could not be more proud of Adam. He was an incredible person and he definitely left his mark here.”
What we have learned from one another during the past 2 years:
Kim: “The past two years have been difficult, but so much good has come from our journey with Adam. Fortunately for us, Emily and I have always had a good relationship. Over the years we have parented not only Adam together, but each other’s kids as well. We have been employed together and have had similar friend circles as well. We have been told when faced with such tragedy it seems to be the consensus that most blended families find it difficult to stand together. I feel in our case these past two years have taught us to stand even stronger and rise above together. From her full support and shoulder to cry on to an extra set of loving arms when my son needed it the most, Emily has been wonderful throughout Adam’s entire childhood and especially during his battle with cancer. I am so thankful I can not only call her Adam’s Bonus Mom, but also my friend.”
Emily: “I have been honored to be a part of Adam’s life since he was three years old and I will forever be grateful to Kim for allowing me to help raise him. The thing about co-parenting is both parties have to be willing. Co-parenting is about putting the child first and a lot of time that involves compromise and selflessness. I think the most incredible gift you can give a child is the ability to co-parent effectively if you have blended families. I did not know Kim before I met Adam’s father, but we have been lucky enough to develop an amazing friendship over the past 14 years. We not only co-parented Adam, but she loves my girls like they are her own and she has helped me with them throughout their lives. The same goes for her son, Andrew.
I have learned so much from Kim in these past two years. I feel like Kim has handled Adam’s situation with incredible strength and poise. We have become even closer and we often lean on each other for strength and comfort. We bounced ideas off of each other during Adam’s treatment and we continue to do so regarding Strong Like AK. She has worked tirelessly behind the scenes to make Strong Like AK a success and I could not be more proud of her.”
Mother’s Day will be extremely difficult, but we still spend it the way we always have… as a family:
Kim: “This Mother’s Day will be challenging to say the least. We definitely have made plans, very similar to last Mother’s day, we will just be missing one special person this year. We are hoping to spend the day on the lake together with our families. We will spend our time remembering Adam, reminiscing on fond memories of him, and being thankful for this special bond between us.”
Emily: “Mother’s Day will never be the same for either of us. This Mother’s Day will be spent together with Kim, just like in the years previously. We will hopefully enjoy a day on the lake with our families- Phil, Cambrie, Channing, Jeremy, and Andrew. We talk about Adam every day and I am sure Mother’s Day will be no different. I know Adam would want us to be together and I know he is celebrating us both in heaven.”