I didn’t want to forget…

June marks a significant date as it is the month that Isabella lost her fight to neuroblastoma. This year will be 5 years since we lost her to this horrible disease on June 28th, 2012. The Santos family has been through their ups and downs in dealing with losing a daughter, sister, granddaughter, great-granddaughter, niece and cousin. But as you have most likely noticed, they have persevered… and they lead the push to fight for kids with cancer in Isabella’s honor. This month we will be sharing both the happy and raw times as we celebrate Isabella’s spirt and the legacy she left behind.

Miss Chrissy and Isabella

I didn’t want to forget…

“June is a hard month.  I couldn’t imagine what it’s like for Erin and Stuart, but it is certainly a hard month for me.  I think back on all the little things that I used to run around town doing with Isabella.  Silly things really.  But things that we did over and over, at places we considered our stomping grounds that made us both happy.

Red Lobster, I won’t go back.  This was Isabella’s all time favorite restaurant.  But I can’t find it in myself to step foot in a Red Lobster.  Janie and Jack, I won’t step foot in that store.  Isabella was very finicky with what she wore and the shoes she chose.  Boy did we make a good shopping team.  But I can’t find it in myself to step foot in a Janie and Jack or look that way when in the mall.  Genghis Grill, I won’t visit that restaurant ever again.  Isabella loved the little corn on the cobs and I laugh every time that I think of those darn things.  But I can’t find it in myself to eat at Genghis Grill. And after most food stops or shopping trips, we would pick up something chocolate.  Isabella loved chocolate.  Decadent and rich… something that only an adult size man could eat.  But she would eat every single bite, drink a large glass of milk, and laugh the whole time.  She knew that milk grossed me out and loved every second of it.

I can’t visit our old stomping grounds, but I keep her close to my heart at home in different ways.  Isabella’s art is hung up in my kitchen facing the microwave.  She would cook pop corn every time she came to my house.  I thought this was the most perfect spot, another memory of something we would do together.  I don’t notice it every day… but when I do it certainly stops me and makes me smile about all the times I had with her.

I try to go to her gravesite every couple of weeks.  I want to make sure all the weeds are pulled, all the dead flowers are removed and fresh ones are put in their place.  I never want Erin or Stuart to visit and see things that would hinder them from feeling her spirt.  And others visiting other graves…. I want everyone to know how special this girl is and the mark she is making.

And in the end the one thing I remember the most… I just didn’t want to forget.  I would rub her arm and her head (I loved that bald head) over and over as we cuddled.  I had to force myself to remember what she felt like.  I didn’t want to forget.”

– Miss Chrissy, Isabella’s best friend & family friend

We can accomplish so much more if we fight cancer together.  Learn more about donating to the Isabella Santos Foundation.