Beat Grow Live- Marathon Style

Speedwork PicIsabella’s wish was to BEAT Cancer, GROW Hair and LIVE my Dream – for any supporter of ISF, these words are never far from our hearts. As a Dream Team Member in the middle of marathon training, these words hold additional meaning:

BEAT: Any runner will tell you, we always want to beat our PR (Personal Record). I’ve had a goal set for the past 2 marathons – 4 hours and 30 minutes. In 2014, I missed my goal by 8 minutes. Last year, I crossed the finish line at 4:34. Yes, it was a PR for me, but missing my goal by 4 minutes was discouraging.   This year, I remain steadfast in my goal and am determined to break 4:30. I’m training harder this time around. Instead of training for a 4:30 finish, Coach Tom has advised me to train for a 4:15, so I give myself a little leeway during the race. I’ve added cross training and speed work to my training and I’m confident that this is the race I’ll finally BEAT my goal.

GROW: I find myself pushing myself far past my comfort zone during marathon training. A few weeks back, I met up with Coach Tom and joined him for hill repeats. It was the first time I had ever done them. To race up a giant hill, only to run back down and do it again, was definitely a challenge. I thought nothing could be harder, but last week I found out I was wrong.   I looked on the training calendar and on Tuesday it said “4×800”.   The numbers looked easy, the reality was hard. I met my teammates at the school track early in the morning. We sprinted 2 laps around the track, then recovered for a lap and repeated 4 times.  It was no joke, and I don’t know if I could have completed it all if I didn’t have my teammates with me. I left that morning feeling exhausted and empowered. It’s hard training mornings like those that help me GROW as a runner.

LIVE: Marathon training can be all consuming. I plan nights out based on what the next morning holds and I don’t commit to weekend plans until I know my Saturday morning mileage. For some, it may seem constricting; by I find comfort in the calendar. There is a satisfaction in crossing off each completed run – getting closer and closer to race day. For 18 weeks, we LIVE by the training calendar.

Training CalendarEvery time The Dream Team runs, we do it for Isabella and other children fighting cancer. We Beat, Grow and Live Marathon Style, so that we can help make Isabella’s dream a reality.

#beatgrowlive

 

… Because You Run.

In December 2009, I ran my first marathon.  Earlier that year I had taken a trip to Memphis with my husband to take a tour of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, as his company had just signed on to become a corporate sponsor.  I had been running for about a year at the time of that tour, and had never done any type of fundraising … but within 2 minutes of walking through those front doors I was overcome with inspiration and an overwhelming desire to help.  I was registered for the St. Jude Memphis Marathon with a $1000 fundraising goal before the sun went down that evening.

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I soon found out that training for that kind of distance was no joke.  I was constantly tired, sore, HUNGRY!  My weekends consisted of early bedtimes and early alarms.  I felt like I was on a constant rotation of icing and foam rolling.  It was easy to feel overwhelmed and there were numerous occasions along the way when I really wondered why in the hell I was putting myself through all of that.  Then I would find my motivation again in remembering why I chose to register in the first place … and that kept me getting out there, putting one foot in front of the other.  I’d think of the halls of that hospital … lined with the artwork of the patients.  I’d think of the parents that shared the stories of their babies fighting for their lives.  I’d think of the pictures of all of those children, sporting their beautiful bald heads, who shouldn’t have a care in the world … and yet, they have more stress on their shoulders than most of us deal with in a lifetime.  I’d think of my daughter (I only had one at the time), and how incredibly lucky I was that she was healthy … but knew that her health wasn’t a guarantee.  BUT … I don’t think the true inspiration behind being an advocate for childhood cancer really hit me fully until the actual race itself.

Early in the race, the course took us through the hospital campus.  The streets were lined with balloons and nurses and patients and parent and signs and music …. it was a full on party.  Everyone was cheering and clapping …. it was absolutely impossible for me to get through that stretch without tears running down my cheeks.  But it wasn’t until the very end of that stretch that I spotted the woman that would become my motivation until this very day.  She was maybe early 20s, with long, dark, thick, wavy hair …  and she was yelling and smiling from ear to ear, holding up a big sign over her head:

“I’m still here …. because you run”

Just typing that line gives me chills all over again, but I can honestly say that in the moment it hit me like a ton of bricks.  We’re talking weak in the knees, full on ugly cry type of emotions.  All those stories and all those pictures that gave me motivation along the way … those were amazing.  But it wasn’t until I was standing face to face with a pediatric cancer survivor that I truly grasped the reason for running all those miles and hounding all those friends and family members for donations.

Now I’m just 7 weeks into another 16 week training session, and I’m finding myself already tired, sore, HUNGRY … and feeling like I still have a very LOOOONGGG way to go.  At times I feel like ignoring the alarm, skipping my workout, even bailing on the race all together. But then I remember that woman.  I remember that sign.  And now, as a part of the Dream Team, I remember Isabella’s dream of a world with no more cancer.  That woman was proof that that dream can be a reality.  That it IS possible to Beat cancer, Grow your hair, Live your dreams … but it needs to be a reality for EVERY child.  I want to see every one of the 43 children that receives a cancer diagnosis today, whether it be leukemia or osteosarcoma or neuroblastoma, standing on those sidelines of the next race holding that same sign.

“I’m still here …. because you run”

And until that day comes … I keep running.

Running to Zero

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I tossed and turned in bed. I knew my mind was racing. I had this feeling a lot back in the day and I know how to fix it. I had to write. I knew that if I did my mind would settle and I could sleep. But the “new” Erin convinced myself that my anxiety was due to the Dream Team 6 mile run at 6:30 am the next day. It was just nerves that I would oversleep or worse, not be able to do the run.

My mind and body tossed from 10:30 pm – 1:30 am.

I woke at 4:30 am and I knew it wasn’t running nerves. The day before while shopping I received a call from a new friend. Her Granddaughter just received results from recent scans and the neuroblastoma was aggressive, although I not sure aggressive accurately describes it. The neuroblastoma had become deadly. Palliative care options were given due to the rapid progression of the disease.

I tried to remain calm with the news because at this point in my life, I know that Doctors are really just guessing. You learn this when you too, have been given this option several times – yet your own daughter proves them wrong and makes a comeback. These Doctors are not God and you learn this the hard way. I gave the best advice I could give.

Tell the parents to read their daughter. If she wants to fight – then fight. If she is done, they will know and then the fight will be over.

We read Isabella each time we got devastating news. Doctors said she was done but her light showed “Green” so we fought. Sometimes it seemed “Yellow”, so we would cautiously continue. But when it turned “Red” for the first and only time – we stopped. She died quickly.

But I found myself Friday night at Nordstroms, crying. Sad and Angry.

It feels like we just made our decision. It was just yesterday right? I found myself at 4:30 am counting days.

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There is no way.

I began to freak out that another mother might soon be counting.

1 is the hardest number. But oddly 1494 still feels hard. When you see that number it may seem like a lifetime ago. But for me, it feels so recent. It’s 1494 missed kisses, missed goodnights, and missed smiles. I’m sure that number can be a hard motivator for some to take action. But to me, that number is as motivating as ever. Especially during these hot summer months when every number we see kills our motivation.

99 degrees, 100% humidity, 13.1 miles, 6:30 am, $500 fundraising goals. You may begin to wonder why you are doing this to yourself?

1494. That number motivates me because it’s an awful number. And next Saturday that number will be 1501. My number will continue to grow this season and I know that everything I’m doing, every time I ask for a donation, and every mile I run in this heat is so that someone like me will not have to write that number on their arm.

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I will run and continue to ask until that number is zero.

#runningtozero

Donate. http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/isabellasantos/2016-isabellas-dream-team

– Isabella’s Mommy

 

This Isn’t My First Rodeo

As an original dream team member, and someone that this isn’t my first rodeo for training for a half-marathon, you may think I love running all the time. Sometimes I do feel like this:

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(Photo credit: Tom Patania)

But sometimes, it is a struggle to get out there and pound the pavement.

When you commit to Isabella’s Dream Team, it doesn’t mean it does not guarantee the journey will be easy. It still takes a lot of sweat and determination to get across the finish line. Our training consists of running at least 3 times a week plus cross training days (and rest).

There are days that it’s a challenge to get myself to go for run. Days when cozy my bed wants to keep me inside and comfortable.

Like this morning. My alarm went off and I immediately hit snooze for another 30 minutes. ‘Not yet,’ I told myself. The alarm buzzed at me again. I still wasn’t feeling it. I got out of bed and started my checking my emails, buying myself time to talk myself out of running. As the minutes ticked by, it was only getting hotter outside. ‘I will run tomorrow,’ I think.   Then I scrolled on Facebook and clicked our Dream Team group. Another team member had posted just moments earlier that they finished their run. Oomph. ‘Time to step it up, Julie,’ I think.

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(Via John Maxwell)

This team holds me accountable and constantly reminds me of the purpose of our runs. Our reason is backed by a decision, commitment, passion and the desire crush cancer.  Even though I may not be smiling as I head out the door for my run, or during every run, I’m always smiling afterward.

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(P.S. Don’t mind the fact that my face is the same shade of pink as my walls…)

I throw the sheets off, get dressed and start my warm up. I play my favorite song (Isabella’s Fight Song video) and as I step outside I remember what Coach said, “Raising money for pediatric cancer will one day be a thing of the past, but until then, we run.”

My Journey From the Couch to the Trail

Prior to this spring, if you had told me that I would begin training for a half marathon, I would have laughed in your face. Runner? Me? Hilarious.

I began my running journey in 2015. I was a new wife and a second year high school English teacher. And I was stress-eating my way out of the biggest pair of jeans I’d ever bought. I felt miserable and just… gross. (Adulting is hard, guys.) So, like the majority of America, I set a New Year’s Resolution to get fit, but I had no idea how to do it. My friend Kayla invited me to start the Couch to 5K program and I was just desperate enough to say yes. I vividly remember her saying, “Don’t worry, it eases you into it.”

Yeah, right. Two weeks later, I was huffing my way through the 60 and 90 second interval runs around our school gym, shooting glares at her with every step. I complained every minute of it– Why were we doing this again? How am I supposed to run a 5K when I can’t run a minute without dying? And why did the trainer’s voice have to be so peppy? But Kayla pushed me through it, encouraging me (read: bullying me) at just the right moments. I began to love running and I successfully ran my first 5K in June 2015. I was so proud of my accomplishment!

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But we had just started an intensive graduate program, and our focus toward our classes (paired with the summer heat) caused us to fall out of our running routine pretty quickly. So long, progress. Hello, research paper.
After several rounds of a cross-training routine in the winter, Kayla came to me in February with a goal to run a half marathon. She had run several during college, so she knew what it was like. Obviously, I only started running last year– and at that point, a 5K had seemed like a stretch. But after achieving that hurdle, I decided to go for it. I knew if I paid for my registration, I would stick to it and I needed the push to stay with running throughout the year. We began with Couch to 5K again and I quickly acclimated back into my running routine (not without the occasional grumbling).

In May, Nichole approached us about joining the Dream Team. We were quite familiar with ISF because our football team and school supported the foundation each year with a Purple Out game and spirit day. I’d also seen my high school friend Brenna run in honor of Isabella multiple times in the past and knew her story well. Needless to say, Kayla and I went all out in the fall and were quite the spectacle at school and the football game.

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Neither one of us hesitated at the invitation. For me, ISF hits close to home. I lost a classmate and friend to osteosarcoma in 7th grade–she was just a kid, and one of the sweetest in our class. If you’re a Charlotte native or have lived here for more than ten years, you probably know Hope’s story. I’ve lost several family members to various forms of cancer and my best friend is currently battling leukemia. Cancer gets personal. But it’s even more personal when it affects a child and it is insulting that it is one of the least funded research programs in our country.
Joining the Dream Team gives me the opportunity to fight back against pediatric cancer and it gives me a purpose in my running goals. I’ve pushed past my previous ability and just hit a major milestone when I ran my first 10K several weeks ago on at the Common Heart Firecracker Run with a few other Dream Team friends.

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I’m excited to be a member of the Dream Team for the 2016 season and I’m ready for the challenges ahead. I love the camaraderie of the team and we have already begun building new friendships–and we are only two weeks in. I’m grateful for the opportunity to run for something more and to join the fight against pediatric cancer. And above all, I’m honored to run for Ibby.