How unfair her life has been, but how beautiful it has been as well…

June marks a significant date as it is the month that Isabella lost her fight to neuroblastoma. This year will be 5 years since we lost her to this horrible disease on June 28th, 2012. The Santos family has been through their ups and downs in dealing with losing a daughter, sister, granddaughter, great-granddaughter, niece and cousin. But as you have most likely noticed, they have persevered… and they lead the push to fight for kids with cancer in Isabella’s honor. This month we will be sharing both the happy and raw times as we celebrate Isabella’s spirt and the legacy she left behind.

How unfair her life has been, but how beautiful it has been as well…

“But as I laid her in my bed tonight, I knew that hospice was right.  She is trying for the last time to live.. but her body will soon lose the fight.  I feel like I’m coming to peace a bit with the fact that we are going to lose her soon.  The community of people supporting us doubles daily and her reach is growing nationwide.  It seems fitting for her as Isabella always thought that she was a celebrity her whole life, but just wasn’t sure why.  That point was made very clear today when my phone rang with a blocked number.. Taylor Swift​ was on the other side of my phone and she had heard of Isabella and her fight.  Isabella is a huge fan of hers and a month ago, she would of screamed bloody murder to hear her on the other side of the phone.  But, this disease is taking all the of things about Isabella that made her so wonderful.  It was all she could handle to just lay on the couch and listen to this woman she loves speak to her through the phone.  She could barely speak, she just looked at the phone with one eye closed as if she was trying to see Taylor in the phone somehow.  If you could of seen Isabella at her concert a couple of months ago, it would take your breathe away to see her now.  How just a couple of months and a horrible disease can steal more and more things from her every day.  Makes me so sad to see it.  Even the revolving door of loved ones who leave and I know they are thinking it is the last time they will ever see her.  This is my day.. my heartbreak, Isabella’s heartbreak, and heartbreak from everyone we come in contact with.  I can only think that through her life, so many are changed that it will make the difference.. maybe even save another child’s life.  Isn’t that what we all want?  Our life sacrifice. knowing it can save someone else’s?  That is an amazing gift.  One death for the sake of millions?  I know that is what Isabella would want in the end.  To know that because of her, another little girl will not have to miss her last day of kindergarten.  I selfishly wish that my daughter was the one being sparred.  That her last day of kindergarten tomorrow would be filled with laughing and running and playing.  Instead we head to the clinic for a full day of blood and platelets.  Another memory, stolen.  How unfair her life has been, but how beautiful it has been as well.”  -Isabella’s Mommy (June 7, 2012)

We can accomplish so much more if we fight cancer together.  Learn more about donating to the Isabella Santos Foundation.

Wait until they become dragonflies…

June marks a significant date as it is the month that Isabella lost her fight to neuroblastoma. This year will be 5 years since we lost her to this horrible disease on June 28th, 2012. The Santos family has been through their ups and downs in dealing with losing a daughter, sister, granddaughter, great-granddaughter, niece and cousin. But as you have most likely noticed, they have persevered… and they lead the push to fight for kids with cancer in Isabella’s honor. This month we will be sharing both the happy and raw times as we celebrate Isabella’s spirt and the legacy she left behind.

Wait until they become dragonflies…

“We are doing horrible things like talking to hospice about funeral homes, what to do if she dies in Disney, how to talk to our kids.. But I’m also getting moments last night where Isabella and I took a bath together and I washed her up and talked about all kinds of things like what animal we would like to be… she of course would be a bunny. I got her outand dried her hair and we cuddled on the couch. Hospice suggested a book called Dragonflies and Waterbugs to help talk about death to children. It’s a great book about this family of waterbugs who will occasionally crawl up a stem and not come back… even though they seemed very happy in their waterbug family. They made a pact that the next person that goes will promise to come back and tell what is up there. But when the next bug goes up the stem, she turns into a beautiful dragonfly. She loves to fly around and can see the waterbugs below. But when she tries to return, she can’t get through the water. Instead she will have to wait until someone else in her waterbug family decides to join her as a dragonfly so they can fly around together. I’ve only read Isabella and Grant the book but will use it as an example when the time comes.” – Isabella’s Mommy (June 3, 2012)

We bought a bulk stack of the Dragonflies and Waterbugs book and gave them to all of Isabella’s sweet friends and family to help everyone discuss her death. So now every time you see a dragonfly… don’t brush it away . It could be Isabella wanting to say hi.

Dragonflies and Waterbugs book: http://amzn.to/2s6Uu4F

We can accomplish so much more if we fight cancer together.  Learn more about donating to the Isabella Santos Foundation.

Isabella’s Cooking Show

Written by Connie Stewart, Isabella’s Grandma

Let me start off by saying that my mom is an amazing baker.  She is known for her German chocolate cake, coconut cream pie and brownies with homemade icing.  My daughter Amy is known for her many varieties of cookies and creative cakes and I dabble in baking a bit with cake pops and strawberry cakes.  If you know Erin, you know that she was more than happy to step aside and pass this trait on to Isabella.  She didn’t like the mess it created and would much rather pull out a roll of cookie dough from the refrigerator and have warm cookies in 15 minutes with no mess.  Erin would get out the mixer, point to the flour and sugar and say “There you go”.  But Isabella loved to bake and I was very happy to help her.  And I do mean, help her.  She was always in charge and I was the one getting the eggs, flour and various ingredients.  She would handle everything from there.

As far back as I can remember, she would pull up a little step stool and put on an apron and do whatever she could to bake something.  One christmas when she was maybe 5 years old, we got her an apron with her name embroidered on it and a baking set with measuring cups, measuring spoons and bowls.  The was so excited to break it open and begin cooking.  I think she actually fixed scrambled eggs for breakfast for us that morning with a little instruction from her dad.

But her favorite things to make were cookies, cupcakes and cakes.  One Easter weekend, Isabella and I spent the entire afternoon baking, icing and decorating a bunny cake complete with jelly beans and sprinkles.  She was so proud of it.  Later that night, her Uncle Nathan came over and when she offered him a piece he took a big piece of the bunny butt.  She couldn’t stop giggling about that and her infectious laugh made us all laugh too.

I think my favorite memory of her cooking skills came in 2011 when all of us were together for an ISF Face.  Another one of Isabella’s favorite things was spending time with her cousins.  Amy’s three girls were close to her age and she love just running with them and giggling.  One this particular day, the four of them spent hours planning a cooking show.  Actually, it was not just a cooking show it was “The Isabella Cooking Show”.  They decided to hold the show in the garage on the pink stage that her dad had built.  They designed a sign, wrote out a menu, and set up the stage and chairs for the audience complete with a microphone.  Everyone on stage had to wear a cupcake t-shirt and the color theme was, of course, pink.  They made blueberry muffins and explained the process which took an entire two minutes.  Isabella took center stage and stirred the batter over and over and over.  They had not quite planned what to do next so they passed around a microphone and took questions from the audience ranging from “How long do these muffins bake” to “Can Sophia help you?” which met with a resounding “NO!”.

One thing about Isabella and her baking was that she never wanted to eat the things that she made.  I don’t know if she didn’t care of the things that she baked or that she knew something I didn’t about what went into it.  Mmmmm… Either way, I loved the time that we shared doing this.  It was a time for the two of us to just talk and laugh.  She would tell me about things that went on at school, her boyfriend, Joey, or how her brother and sister were annoying her.  I would tell her about her cousins or ask her about some of the places she had been all while we continued mixing and measuring.  I know that she didn’t get it at the time, but for me, this was perfect.  It was my chance to share something my mom, my daughters and now my granddaughter enjoyed.

I know this year the Easter Bunny brought Sophia some baking supplies.  Hopefully I will get some ‘banking time’ with her too.